Flagpole Sitta
by Goddess Isa
Summary: Xander spies on Buffy and Angel making love


TITLE: Flagpole Sitta  
AUTHOR: Goddess Isa   
EMAIL: goddessisa@aol.com  
SUMMARY: Xander spies on Buffy and Angel making love  
SPOILER: The Zeppo  
DISTRIBUTION: Sure, just email me & lmk where it's going - I like seeing my name in print =) http://planetslaythis.homestead.com  
FEEDBACK: Please, I'd hate to have to Slay for it. =P  
RATING: TV-MA  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters, Joss Whedon does. If he ever decides to give them to me, that would be nice. =) The song belongs to Harvey Danger. And it rules.   
  
  
  
Xander had never been the type to spy on people. Okay, he'd put a peephole into the girls locker room when he was in the eighth grade and he'll be the first to admit to spying on Willow's Aunt Ida in the bathroom when she visited ("The scariest moment of my life!"), but he really wasn't much for being a snoop.   
  
However, he wasn't feeling much like himself as of late. Cordelia had dumped him, Buffy and the others were shunning him, Faith had used him like a wet rag and pushed him out the door like......well, like a guy usually does to a girl. She may as well have pushed him onto a busy freeway in a g string.   
  
He crept up onto the roof to Buffy's house carefully. He had to be quiet or else she - or Angel - would hear him. Vampires had great sense of hearing, and Buffy had great sense of trouble.   
  
He settled right outside her bedroom window. Lifting his head just high enough to see in, he could see Buffy and Angel. On her bed. Making love.   
  
"Damn!" he sank back to the shingles, his head just inches away from bird droppings. He scooted as far away from them as he could and peeked again, this time sort of sideways, into her room.   
  
They were still at it, Buffy was on top now though, throwing her head back wildly as she slammed down onto Angel.   
  
It was enough to make Xander puke. He pulled away and opened his backpack. He rolled onto his back and tried to get comfy. He pulled his Walkman out of the bag and put it behind his head like a pillow. He placed the headset on his ears and turned the radio on. One of his favorite Greenday songs was just ending, so he listened to the end of it, his eyes closed, the image of Buffy's naked body fresh in his mind's eye.   
  
  
//It's something unpredictable  
  
But in the end it's right  
  
I hope you had the time of your life\\  
  
  
The song segued into one he was quite familiar with, Flagpole Sitta. He started to bop his head and sing along. He pictured himself under Buffy, his hands on her breasts, her hands running up and down his chest making little scratch marks in the flesh.   
  
  
//I had visions  
  
I was in them  
  
I was looking into the mirror   
  
To see a little bit clearer  
  
The rottenness and evil in me\\   
  
  
Xander grinned devilishly. He was tired of being Mr. Perfect, no make that Mr. Screw Up. Mr. All Alone. The Boy Wonder. The sidekick - the one the others always kicked to the side. He imagined twisting Buffy's nipples in his hands.   
  
  
//Fingertips have memories  
  
Mine can't forget the curves  
  
Of your body  
  
And when I feel a bit naughty  
  
I run it up the Flagpole and see  
  
Who salutes, but no one ever does\\  
  
  
He imagined throwing her down onto her back and teasing her, kissing her everywhere but where she wanted him, needed him. He imagined her screaming his name in pleasure, anticipation, yearning.   
  
  
//Ahh, I'm not sick  
  
But I'm not well  
  
And I'm so high  
  
Cause I'm in Hell\\   
  
  
Xander imagined what hell with Buffy would be like. She'd be wearing black leather, carrying whips, chains, that would be good. Oh wait, he'd gotten that mixed up. That was Buffy Heaven. Buffy hell would be more like her in a tent of a dress kissing Cordelia who was also in a tent-like-thing.   
  
  
//Been around the world  
And found  
  
That only stupid people are breeding  
  
The cretins cloning and feeding  
  
And I don't even own a TV\\  
  
  
Buffy and Xander breeding. Yes, he liked this idea. A bunch of little Xander juniors running around and maybe a Lil Buffy or two. He could picture Buffy pregnant. He liked that picture. Of course then, she'd weigh more, and she could crush him when they were having sex. Back to Single Buffy. Yeah, just him and Buffy. Buffy on top of him. Him on top of Buffy. This was good.   
  
  
//Put me in the hospital  
  
For nerves  
  
And then they had to commit me  
  
You told them all I was crazy  
  
They cut off my legs now I'm an amputee  
  
God Damn you\\   
  
  
Xander could see himself tied to a bed. Buffy was dancing around the room, wearing nothing but a leather corset and leather panties. He was extremely turned on by this sight. He watched her as she danced, her hair swinging. He was going nuts. She came over and straddled him. He pulled at the knot holding her corset on and it fell off. He laughed at the men who'd said how hard they were to get off. This was a cinch compared to her workout clothing. Those damn leggings.....  
  
  
//Paranoia, paranoia\\  
  
  
He was rocking his head back and forth, as well as his hips up and down, singing, screaming. His head pounded against the window. Buffy rolled off of Xander and stared at the window, watching her friend.   
  
  
//Everybody's coming to get me\\  
  
  
Buffy threw a robe on and opened the window, causing Xander's head to fall through and hit the frame.   
  
"OW!"   
  
"What the hell are you doing here?"   
  
  
//You say you've never met me\\  
  
  
"Um......singing."   
  
  
//I'm running underground with the moles   
  
In holes\\  
  
  
Angel appeared. He gave Xander a Look. He was pissed.   
  
"I was daydreamingabouthavingsexwithBuffybecauseI'mlonelyandgirlsdon'tappreciatemepleasedon'tkillme!"   
  
Buffy laughed. A minute later, Angel joined in. Xander unclenched his fists and stared at them.   
  
"My patheticism is funny to you."   
  
"Patheticism isn't a word," Angel said through laughter.    
  
"You sure honey?" Buffy asked.   
  
"Yes, I'm sure."   
  
"Why am I so forgettable? So easy to drop like a hat?"   
  
Buffy and Angel had found each other's laughter erotic, apparently, because they were back at it on the bed within seconds, not even caring that Xander was right there.   
  
He knew what to do.   
  
He grabbed his stuff off the roof and ran for his life.    
  
  
//'Cause I'm in hell\\  



End file.
